1. |
Finally
03:18
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Snow falls
From your windowsill
I know you've got me figured out
I'll stay but only till it hurts
I know our hearts are runnin around
We walk
that hidden path for love
We walk
carefully again
I'll stay but only till it hurts
I know our hearts are runnin around.
New cars
Drivin along again
Slipped up, barely slipped my mind
We stay but only till it hurts
I know you feel like you're left behind
I
Know
Finally figured it out
Tommys gonna be late again
Leather jackets and drinking with his friends
He stays but only till it hurts
We know the way this story ends
I
know
Finally figured it out
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2. |
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It was an open casket funeral and my body had the nerve to say that it’s bored with the warnings from the passing of the pastor and I feel like I’m not alive because I’m so dead inside can you look me in the eyes you can’t look me in the eyes you were sweet you were kind I was so dumb getting high thinking about all the times you were here still alive be that he cared for you the way that I wanted to know that your kids are kind realized I ruined my life realized I ruined my life oh well oh well Noel deep in the woods he’s watching well oh well Noel deep in the woods he’s watching
Oh well Noel
The sun
The stars
The moon
We’re mine
They all were mine.
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3. |
Fountain
02:33
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And my eyes remain closed until you put on clothes I’m afraid of your beauty of your love of your life-
I said, “I’m usually not like this I’m just nervous when I’m with you it’s kinda fun.”
I said, “I’m usually not like this I’m just nervous, when I’m with you- I feel alive.”
She said,
“I remember last November’s sounds, the way you move, the way you howl, up at the moon, when I’m with you, cause you love me, and I love you.”
Every time you walk away you ask me if it’s over and I tell you where I’m gonna stay the bottom of the river and it’s on and on and on again
She said, ““I remember last November’s sound, the way you move, the way you howl, up at the moon, when I’m with you, cause you love me, and I love you.”
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4. |
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Where's the part when someone jumps out and tells me I'm asleep? Where's the part that takes a turn and twists inward unexpectedly? Where's the part where I'm convinced that I'm hated by my friends? Where's the part that fucks me up and makes me feel the missing parts again? I don't deserve to feel this comfortable in my own skin. I'm 99% convinced this isn't real (is this even real?) Why did I keep holding on like my life was in your hands? It's impossible for me to ever fully understand. Something tells me there's a chance I've made it through the other end; I can feel myself return from the shape that I was wrapped around and bent. If I said that I've looked back, then I'd be lying. Firmly press my shaking hands against my ears. If I said I felt alive, I felt like dying. I feel like myself for the first time, the first time in years. Where's the part that I forget every fucked up little thing that made me feel like 1% – just the smallest part of me?
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5. |
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No obligation, no commitment, no respect and no conviction. No plans for the future, no looking back and no ambition. No common sense, no idea what the fuck I'm supposed to do. No control and no manners; no reason why I should have to tell you I'm living in a hollow shell. Is it possible to die when you're already in hell? My uncertainty is everlasting and perennial, because I'm a millennial. No direction, no hope for me, no sense in trying to save my sorry ass. No way I'll ever make it out alive; not the slightest chance I'll ever last. No getting through to me, no way that I'll wake up and get my life together. No sense in anything when everything happens for no reason whatsoever. For every single failing industry you've blamed me for killing, I pay with expectations that I'm not fulfilling. I'm living in a hollow shell. It's impossible to die 'cause I'm already in hell. My anxiety is leveled every day by
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McCafferty Ohio
I've started a blog about my treatment for Bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder, life, and music at mccaffertyband.com. There is a contact form, but you can also email nickhartkop@mccaffertyband.com if you want to reach out. My team reads the messages and sends them to me to reply. Thank you for listening. -Nick Hartkop ... more
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